reversedpolarity | [RL Jack] backdated to the 15th

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[RL Jack] backdated to the 15th

[continued from this conversation]

Ten minutes, he'd said, and a little less than that he was beaming down into the Hub, just as he had about a week before - only this time for a very different reason. He didn't know what to make of the revelation that Jack was immortal, was going to live forever. But that wasn't what was important right now. There'd be time later to sort through that, to try coming to terms with what that meant. It wasn't that information that had spurred the decision to come down.

It was that Jack had been through so much worse than Scotty could even possibly imagine, and he'd had no idea what to say - and felt that this particular conversation was one better had in person, face-to-face. The silences wouldn't be so awkward then, when he didn't know what to say, because he'd be there, be able to hold onto Jack, to let him know that he was there even when words failed him.

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Jack laughed a little bitterly about that comment. He really didn't know what there was that was good about it. He didn't know what he could share that would be a 'good thing' because for everything decent there was something horrible the counteracted it and made it all the worse. "...I don't know," he said, honestly. "I really... I don't know."

"What about Torchwood?" Scotty asked, determined to find something, because he couldn't believe that there wasn't something that made it all worthwhile. "It's important, isn't it? It's good." There had to be something that kept Jack going. Had to be something that kept him strong enough to withstand losing everything over and over. "An' if... If you'd stayed dead, where would Torchwood be, then?"

Jack shrugged. "Maybe... Maybe it's better. Maybe I know what I'm doing and we're making a difference." He sighed, shaking his head and looking up at Scotty after a moment. "Don't get me wrong. I... There are people I have, here and now, that I would never, ever leave behind. But. I'm forever, Scotty. It's not..." His eyes hardened, and he looked away. "I don't want to think about it."

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, falling silent after that. Again he just sat there for a long moment, holding onto Jack, not knowing what to say. There would be other people, in the future, but that wouldn't make losing the ones Jack had now hurt any less. But Scotty refused to believe that not letting people was the answer. Not letting people close would only make eternity that much lonelier. But he doubted that was what Jack would want to hear right now, and Scotty wasn't sure he could find a way to say it without making it sound like little more than a hollow reassurance. And he didn't want to think about the fact that someday, he wouldn't be there. That someday, Jack was going to lose him too and there was nothing he could do about it.

After a long moment of Scotty just holding him there in silence, Jack finally let himself relax into the embrace, moving to rest his head on the other man's chest, possible given the position they were in at that moment, sighing deeply as he did so. This is why he didn't talk about it, too. Because he didn't like to get people down, and there really was not a lot of positive things you could say about it, even if you were an impossible optimist like Scotty there.

"...I don't know about you, but I could really use a drink," he said, after a long moment.

He slid his hand into Jack's hair at the back of the other man's head, and just kept holding him close, because there wasn't really anything else he could do. "A drink sounds like a good idea," he agreed, though he didn't pull away for a few moments after that. He did eventually, because if Jack wanted a drink he certainly wasn't going to try and stop the man, and getting drinks would have been a bit impossible with him still in Jack's lap.

Jack stood and walked around his desk to a cabinet, where he pulled out a bottle of brandy and two tumblers, turning to bring them to his desk. "You want one?" he asked, as he opened it up and started pouring the liquid out into one of the glasses.

Scotty sat on the edge of the desk again, nodding in answer to Jack's question. "Could do with one, yeah." He realized that he was sort of letting Jack avoid the topic of his immortality, but then again... He was sort of avoiding it himself now. It'd be easier to cope with, maybe, once he'd had some time to think about it, but for right now... For right now, a drink would be a good place to start.

Jack nodded, pouring Scotty a glass as well before handing it over to him. "It's brandy," he said. "Good year. Been around for a while, I don't really drink unless the occasion really calls for it, and well..." He motioned around them as if indicating their situation as a whole. "I think that accidentally outing myself as a timeless immortal to you definitely calls for it, don't you?" he said, with a slightly bitter smile.

"Cheers," he said, lifting his glass to the other man, before tipping it back and taking a healthy swallow.

He laughed a little helplessly, shaking his head as he raised his glass in return. "Cheers." There wasn't really much else to say. Not on the topic of immortality, at any rate. Jack clearly didn't want to talk about it, and Scotty wasn't going to push him to do so.

After drinking for a moment, Jack speaks up again. "I hope that... You know. I hope this doesn't bother you. Me being...well. The way that I am. I'd understand if it does, though. Wouldn't be the first time I upset anyone just by simply existing..." The way he said it was less bitter and more a fact. He'd had a long time to get used to the fact that some people just would never be able to accept it.

He glanced up at Jack, and set his glass down, taking a breath before speaking up. "Jack..." He wondered, briefly, if Sulu and Ianto knew. And if they did... Well. They clearly weren't letting it bother them. "I'm afraid you're stuck with me," he said finally, with a certainty in his tone that brooked no argument. "I didn't patch things up with us just t'turn tail an' run now."

Jack certainly wasn't going to argue that Scotty should give up on him. "You just... You say that now, but. Assuming that I know you 10 years from now, and I look just the same and well. I wouldn't blame you. If... Y'know. You couldn't handle it. A lot of people can't. My daughter... Her mother..." To name a few.

"That's ten years from now," Scotty said firmly. "I can't make you any promises that I will still be around, but what I can promise you, Jack, is that if I'm still around by then, you bet your arse I'm no' goin' anywhere even then." He paused a moment then, and added, "I didn't know you've got a daughter."

Jack laughed softly, bitterly. "Yeah, well. As far as she's concerned, she never wants to see me again, so I might as well not have one. She doesn't want to ever speak to me or hear from me again, so..." He shook his head. "Let's just say that we didn't exactly part on good terms." No way is he going to mention Stephen, here. Not now, not ever, if he can help it.

"I'm sorry." He seemed to be saying that a lot lately, but really, what else could he say? He slipped off the edge of the desk and went to wrap his arms around Jack again, just to let the other man know that he was still there. "I'm sorry."

Jack just stood in Scotty's arms for a moment there, before he turned, putting a hand to Scotty's cheek, and leaning down to kiss him. He understood that Scotty didn't know what else to say, and that was fine. The fact that he was still there at all meant more than he could say, but he could show him. Jack never had been very good with words, but what he couldn't express verbally, he was hoping to get out physically. And so he kissed him deeply, passionately, as if to say 'thank you' in a way that he never would be able to aloud.

He returned the kiss just as deeply and passionately, trying - just as Jack was - to put the words and feelings that he couldn't quite express any other way into it. That he was sorry for all the pain and loss that Jack had suffered, that he was sorry he wouldn't be able to be around forever. That as long as he could be there, he would be.

Some tiny part of Jack's brain should have pointed out to him, as he reached for the hem of Scotty's uniform shirt and slid his hand underneath to splay his hand palm-down on the other man's skin, that getting up to things like this was what had ended him up in the dog house for so long, but. It didn't. He just wanted to feel close to someone, wanted to assure the other man that he wasn't going to push him away, not really. That despite his fear of attachment, he already was pretty attached. This wasn't really a 'spread him over the desk' or 'up against a wall' kind of gesture though. So Jack broke the kiss finally to speak against Scotty's lips.

"I should show you my room," he said, with a bit of a grin. "We just remodeled. More space. You'd like it..."

He pulled away just enough to smile at Jack, then leaned in again for one more quick kiss before answering. "Lead the way, then," he said, stepping back, reaching for Jack's hand as he did so. There'd be time later for sorting through what, exactly, Jack's immortality meant for the two of them and how he was going to handle it. Right now... right now, he needed to let Jack know that he wasn't going anywhere.

Jack laughed. "There's not really all that much leading to be done," he said, with a chuckle. "We're practically there. Here..." He said, leading the other man behind his desk, squeezing his hand before dropping it and bending to grab the handle of the manhole on the floor and tug it open, revealing a ladder going down. Longer than it had been before--like Jack said, they had remodeled. He'd been claustrophobic in the old one, ever since being buried, so this one was wider, taller, big enough to fit a large bed down there rather than a cot, which Jack did readily (there was a passage from a secret doorway behind the headboard that led to one of the tunnels in the maze of the hub, no way in hell they'd gotten that mattress through the manhole).

"Go on," he said, urging Scotty down the ladder.

"You've got a room in a secret space beneath your office," Scotty said, shaking his head a bit. It sort of made sense, though. People would be bound to notice someone living in the same place for years and years and not getting any older, so a secret room in a secret workplace for a secret organization was probably the best way to go. He started down the ladder, climbing with an ease that came from years of poking around in Jefferies tubes, and turned to have a look at the room once he was all the way down.

Jack made his way down the ladder after him, smiling when he got to the bottom and gesturing around them. "Well, what d'you think? Is it up to standards?"

Truth be told, it was better than just a bunker under his office like it used to be. With a full full-sized bed and enough room to maneuver around that, a nightstand, a dresser. A door in the corner that clearly led to a private bathroom of his own. Certainly not as big or spacious as the cabins in the Enterprise, but the bed was better, and it was all Jack's. (Well. Ianto had helped with the decorating, but still.)

"I definitely like the look o' that bed," Scotty said, grinning over at Jack. And of course, he really couldn't help turning a bit pink even as he said it. "An' now that I know it's down here...." he added, a little teasingly, the implication of course being that he was going to have to make even more excuses to stop by and visit Jack.

Jack laughed slightly, stepping forward to put his hands on Scott's waist again. "Well, I have it on good authority that that bed is really pretty comfortable. It's new, though. Since we just rebuilt the hub and all. It could use some more help getting broken in, and all..." He raised an eyebrow, questioningly, propositioning the other man.

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