reversedpolarity | [future!verse]

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[future!verse]

The problem with letting Helen take care of most of the planning for the wedding meant having to make several trips up north in order to get things sorted out, because even if Helen was doing most of the planning, it was still his and Liz's wedding. He personally would have been happy leaving the decisions to Helen, but at the same time, he was trying to at least attempt to help make a few decisions here and there.

Currently, he was trying and failing to tell the difference between two types of flower, which were apparently different enough that they had to pick one or the other and by the way Helen talked about it, it was apparently a life or death decision. Okay, so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but flowers were pretty much just flowers, as far as he was concerned. Eventually he managed to untangle himself from the discussion and went back to flipping through the magazine he'd brought with him.

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She leaned even heavier against him. She couldn't stay mad, not when he was talking to her like this, the ever attentive husband. His last comment made her smile and she looked up at him, "Looks like you are going to have to be a captain after all." She was teasing him after all that convincing her that he didn't want to have to be one in Starfleet. "I know what kind of man you and I know you are going to be spectacular as a father. I really can't wait."

He smiled, turning so he could lean in and kiss her. He let it linger for rather a bit longer than was strictly necessary, and when he pulled away he stayed close, shifting so he could get his other arm around her as well. "Should I go tae Command then, an' demand a promotion?" he teased, feeling better for having made her smile. "The pay raise that'd come with it wouldn't be near enough tae make up for havin' tae leave you for five years," he added, a little more seriously.

She kissed him right back and when he suggested demanding a promotion, she laughed. He seemed to drift into something more serious when he continued and she looked up at him with doe eyes, smiling softly. "I don't think I could manage that long without you," she said, just as serious.

"Likewise," he replied, his tone still serious although he was smiling back at her. "An' I wouldn't dare ask you tae come with me, not if we're raisin' a family. A starship's no place for a young kid." Even so, he couldn't deny that every now and then he felt a pang of longing to be back out in space, back in the engine room. When those moods hit him, he tended to go off alone, to find someplace he could stand and stare up at the stars, and imagine, just for a moment, that he was still out there.

She knew he still wanted to be out there. He wasn't good at being still for too long and she didn't like that she knew. Liz wished she could block out that part of him that longed for all that adventure. Liz looked at him, a sense of sadness in her because she knew he missed space. "Earth isn't enough to contain you..." her voice was quiet and it trailed off.

He turned to look at her, his expression turning serious. "Mo grodh," he said, voice quiet, "I knew the consequences when I made the choices I did. I wouldn't have made those choices if I didn't think I could live with them. Besides... there's still trainin' missions, an' even if it's only a week or two o' bein' out in space again... It'll be enough." He smiled again, leaning in a little closer to her. "An' that week or two'll be enough tae remind me that I'm absolutely useless without you."

Elizabeth watched his eyes as he spoke. She knew he meant it. She always knew he meant it. He didn't make decisions lightly and he wanted to make her happy. She was okay with that. She was glad for that, actually, but she wished that she could make him just as honestly happy as he made her. She wasn't sure she could convey that to him in words, so she didn't. Instead, she sent a very soft and subtle message to him, I want to make you happy... keep you happy...

He fell into an easy silence, shifting again to lean against Liz, letting his eyes close as he felt Liz's mind brush his, felt more than heard the soft words she sent to him. Rather than reply right away, he simply focused his attention in her direction, sifting through memories of being on the Enterprise. Most of them were thoughts of the Enterprise and Liz, together, when he'd had the good fortune to have the luxury of belonging to both of them. All of them were warm, pleasant thoughts, and if there was a hint of longing when he thought of the Enterprise, it wasn't so strong that it drowned out the warmth.

"There were times I hoped I could justify tae myself askin' you tae stay with me, aboard her," he said quietly, eventually. "I won't deny that I miss her. But I'd rather sit an' think o' her with you, instead o' sittin' alone in the engine room an' thinkin' o' you." He fell silent again, and this time, the thought he sent her was a wordless little murmur of reassurance, backed by the same warmth that had been present in his thoughts of the Enterprise, but there was no longing in his thoughts now, just a quiet, happy contentment that he had Liz.

Considering that when they first met years ago and he was a bumbling mess, unable to speak in front of her without stuttering or rambling, he had become surprisingly good with words. He knew what to say to her to make her comforted, exactly what she needed to hear to feel safe. This was no exception. His thoughts and feelings and emotions were a beautiful response to her concerns.

"Just because I couldn't stay out there, doesn't mean I won't compromise. I would have if..." she ended that sentence with a shrug instead.

He smiled then, opening his eyes to glance sideways at his wife. "If I'd ask you tae do that for me? I know. But that's not something I could have asked o' you." He shifted, stretching a bit; sitting on the floor was beginning to take its toll on his back. "Word around the Academy is they're takin' the Enterprise out for a trainin' mission soon. If you don't mind losin' me for a week, I'd like tae go, even if it means havin' tae try an' herd unruly cadets."

"I suppose I can give you up for a week," she conceded, "you can go have your affair with the other woman." She was teasing, of course. She'd shared his heart with the ship for a long time until they both realized that the Enterprise was never going to be able to keep up with Elizabeth. A ship can't love you in return, after all.

He knew he'd miss Liz terribly for that week that he'd be away, but he couldn't resist the chance to pay the Enterprise a visit. Maybe she couldn't love him in return the way Liz did, but even so, she held a special place in his heart. And this was was an acceptable compromise. He'd get to see his ship - and she was still his ship, even if he had left her - and Liz wouldn't have to go back out in space, and he'd come home remembering why he'd followed Liz back to Earth in the first place. "Affair? Hardly. Just a meetin' between old friends," he teased back.

"She's going to put the moves on you. I know women like her.. they're all the same," she smiled up at him, hardly containing her teasing at all, because really, why not? She started to shift her weight, too and finally gave up and wiggled out of his embrace. Liz stood up and held out her hands, offering to help him up off the floor.

He took one of her hands and used the other to brace himself against the bed as he pushed himself up off the floor, pausing a moment to work out the stiffness in his back. "I'll do my very best tae remain immune tae her charms," he replied, chuckling quietly. "But you know how it is... those nacelles, that warp core. Gets me all hot an' bothered just thinkin' about it." He couldn't keep a straight face, and couldn't keep himself from bursting out laughing in the middle of trying to get that all out.

Liz raised her eyebrows at him. There was no way in hell he really thought he'd get away with that. She giggled and and once he was fully standing on his own and now in hysterics she just shook her head. "I never stood a chance."

Liz paused momentarily and looked over her shoulder to the door. She took a deep breath and then back at her husband. "Look, I know he's hard to like. I know that its not a great looking relationship that the two of us have and someday I might figure out how to explain it to you, but my father, as awful as he can be, isn't so bad all the time."

He sobered quickly as Liz began talking about her father again, glancing at the door a moment after she did. He waited until she was finished to reply, "I'm afraid I may end up havin' tae simply avoid him. Just. I don't know, Liz, just something about him..." He sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry. It doesn't make any sense, but he just irritates me tae no end."

"No, it makes perfect sense. You naturally want to protect me and defend me and my father appears to be a bully worth fighting. I know. Trust me, I know," she sighs, "but if it makes you feel any better, you are the only man who has ever defended me. Any other guy I dated years ago and even friends just waited for him to leave the room. They were afraid of him."

She shrugged then, "I know it doesn't seem right or pleasant, but please try and be respectful. You don't have to like him. You don't have to really even be around him much. Just tolerate him for the time being."

He nodded, beckoning for her to come close so he could give her a proper hug. "I'll try, love. That's all I can promise, though, is that I'll try." Because his father-in-law got under his skin like nobody he'd ever met, and by now, even just being in the same room as him was uncomfortable. But for Liz's sake, he would try. "Should I apologize, do you think? Tae him, I mean." As much as he disliked the idea, if Liz wanted him to do so, he would.

She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his waist. "That's all I want," she replied, knowing that there was nothing more either of them could do but hope the other would try. She already knew that much. When he asked if he should apologize she looked up at him and shook her head, even as much as she wished it was as simple as that. "He'd only say something horrible. It wouldn't be work it."

He nodded, hugging her close when she told him it wouldn't be worth it to apologize. In a way, he was glad that she'd told him not to, because he knew that even if he apologized he wouldn't mean it. There was no reason for him to apologize to Gerald for defending Liz except to try bridging that uneasy gap between them, and if it wasn't worth trying... He sighed, and leaned forward to rest his forehead against Liz's. "I'll avoid him, if it comes tae that. Avoid him, an' hope he doesn't go out o' his way tae find me an' say something."

"He doesn't try to find trouble or make it. When it comes knocking, however, he jumps on it and you will never win. It doesn't matter whether you are right or wrong or completely humble, he will tear you apart just because he wants to. And it isn't just you... it's anyone," Liz explained. She hated that she had a father that she had to explain that way. It was horrible that her life basically came down to that. She wished that more than anything, she could make it work. There just wasn't anything more she could do.

He nodded again, trying to suppress a sigh. "Right. So if I just... stay out o' his way, an' keep my mouth shut..." It would be difficult, though. Whenever Gerald said something to Liz, whenever he saw that look on her face when Gerald shot her down... It tore him up inside, knowing that there wasn't anything he could do about it but wait until Gerald was gone so he could try and help Liz pick up the pieces. That wasn't right, but there wasn't really any way to make it right.

"It isn't right. I know. I'm sorry you have to feel like you can't help, but believe me, it makes it worse if we fight him. Someday maybe I'll get up the courage to say something of my own, but until then, we have to let it be," she answered his thoughts quickly. She wasn't going to let that fester for too long or he'd get ideas and have a hard time keeping quiet around her father.

"Right, well." There wasn't much more he could say about that particular subject without getting upset about it again. "What do you say tae you an' me headin' back down tae look over more weddin' stuff, then?" Both of them, he suspected, could use a change of subject, and for once, he'd welcome the prospect of having to sit and look at thirty different kinds of tablecloths, if only it meant getting his mind off what was bothering him.

He was going to stay in a mood until they got home anyway. She knew that much. So she decided to move on and let him move on with her. She managed a nod and decided not to say anything else before taking his hand and heading back down where her mother was still at the dining table going through magazines and ideas. Liz took a seat next to her and Helen smiled warmly, bringing up those stupid flowers again. Liz laughed and protested yet again.

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